I’m writing this article, which is inspired by a response I offered to a question that someone posed in a discussion on Love, Attraction and Desire from a Three Principles perspective.
It appears to me that desire is a short-term impulse based on outer elements to do with the other person: physical appearance, pheromones.
Attraction would be a long-term constant that is not (necessarily) tied up with anything sexual. One can feel attracted to men, women and children alike in the sense of gravitational attraction; something is emanating from that person that we feel we would enjoy being a part of, that makes us want to be in that person’s company regardless of any sense of desire.
And then there is Love. Most people believe that the above two, desire and attraction, are the definition of love between two adults, and very often look to the presence of the above two as proof of love; my take on it is that love runs deeper and that it is part of our foundation as human beings; that which emanates from us and opens a connection that others are attracted to. It’s the link, from us, to the Namaste, seeing the light in another person. As such, Love is Eternal.
But none of the above three can exist without thought. They are representative of Consciousness and Mind, and as such Thought becomes inseparable. To put it very simply:
We can feel no desire without a desiring thought.
We can feel no attraction without an attracting thought.
We can feel no love without a loving thought.
From my own personal thinking around this, and your answers may well be completely different to mine, this is Truth for me:
Can a person go from a feeling of non-desire to a feeling of desire? Yes.
Can a person go from a feeling of non-attraction to a feeling of attraction? Yes.
Can a person go from a feeling of non-love to a feeling of love? Yes.
From the moment that their thinking changes, the possibilities of new thought and new feeling are infinite.
Can we make a person change their mind on any of these points? No.
We can no more change another person’s thoughts than we can change the movement of the tides – though goodness knows we try in vain.
Thought is entirely personal and unique to each individual. All we can do, individually, is recognize that our reactions to our “surroundings”, whatever the context, is entirely personal, tied up to our own thinking and nothing to do with the other person. And so it is for each and every person who inhabits this Earth. Everybody thinks, that’s common knowledge; understanding at a very deep level that everybody thinks and behaves according to their own personal thoughts that they are having in the moment, is a breakthrough.
But this gives us enormous freedom of choice. We know that our thinking can change at any given moment, we’re the lucky ones who are aware of that. With that understanding we can choose to be with whoever we decide to be with, knowing that no matter how we may feel about the relationship with that person one day, our perspective can be totally different the next day.
So the question is not, “Can the other person change so that we feel comfortable?” but, “Can I change?” and the answer to the latter question is “yes”. But it’s not because you “can” that you “have to”.
The kindness of the design makes it so that, no matter what happens, we are always fundamentally okay.